Tracy Finifter December 20, 1994 (Think Billy Joel) It's four o'clock on a Saturday The regular crowd logs in There's a user coming up to me And the look in her face is quite grim She says, "Please can you answer my questions? I'm really at a loss what to do My PC just crashed and my disk just got smashed And tomorrow my papaer is due" Chorus: Oh la la la dee dee da da La la dee dee da da dum Help us with this, you're the Consultant Man Answer our questions tonight We need some of your profound wisdmon To get our machines working right. Paul is a poli-sci major Who doesn't have time for a life And he's writing thesis, which he just hacked to pieces By using a faulty disk drive And the managers all rave like lunatics When somebdoy new drops a shift And Brenda's just getting our hopes up when she tells us that she might just quit Chorus: Oh la la la dee dee da da La la dee dee da da dum Help us with this, you're the Consultant Man Answer our questions tonight We need some of your profound wisdmon To get our machines working right. Now John in 110 is a friend of mine But with True Basic he hasn't a clue And he sits at his Mac, always running emacs 'Cause he's got nothing better to do. He says, "Bill, this program is killing me." As the terror now shows in his face "I'll never figure out this for-loop and I'll never get done at this pace. Chorus: Oh la la la dee dee da da La la dee dee da da dum Help us with this, you're the Consultant Man Answer our questions tonight We need some of your profound wisdmon To get our machines working right. It's a pretty big crowd for a Saturday As the users all claim their printouts I've cleaned all the screens and I pack up my things All set to get the hell out And the delivery man comes to room 9 A hot mushroom pizza in hand Though I'd love to stay, i must leave anyway I have another shaift over at CACC Chorus: Oh la la la dee dee da da La la dee dee da da dum Help us with this, you're the Consultant Man Answer our questions tonight We need some of your profound wisdmon To get our machines working right.
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